When I received my call to go into ministry, I was praying. Immediately, I rejected the call, telling God that I was a business person, not really minister material. I knew how to speak about marketing. I knew a bit about managing people. I could talk about that. On and on I went with all of the reasons I couldn't become a minister including money, my daughter Deborah, and my ignorance of the Bible. There were plenty of reasons why I couldn't become a pastor and I would learn more of them along the way--long after I'd become a pastor.
I struggled for three days without telling anyone about the call. How do you explain to someone that you think God is talking to you--not with words, but clearly enough to make you sure that God wants you to be a pastor?
Finally, on the third day, my sister Jean called. I had not spoken with anyone during those three days, but Jean said that Mother had called her and told her something was going on with me. So, Jean called me.
I was afraid to tell anyone because I knew they might laugh at me, but I was particularly worried about telling Jean who was already an ordained Presbyterian pastor. After I told her, I held onto the phone with white knuckles awaiting Jean's response. It was pure delight. I could feel her warmth and encouragement through the phone. She laughed with joy and said that I would make a wonderful pastor. She also said that my experience in business would be terrifically helpful. It was a great relief that she didn't laugh at me.
But I still didn't feel very comfortable with the call, which I explained to Jean. She directed me to the scripture I read a minute ago: the call of Moses. She explained that Moses struggled with his call just as I was struggling with my call.
I answered, "But I'm no Moses!" Jean said, "That may be true, but God is still God! God's the one that makes the difference."