The cookies I’d nibbled, the fudge I did taste, all the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I remembered the marvelous meals I’d prepared, the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare.
The pies and the cakes, the bread and the cheese, and the way I never said, "No thank you please."
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt, and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can "You can’t spend the winter disguised as a man!"
So away with the last of the sour cream dip, get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished, ‘till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick, I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore --- But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot ... Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
Related Text Illustrations
Contributed by Bill Prater on Jan 3, 2001
‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the fudge I did taste, all the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a ...read more
Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Jun 3, 2001
There’s a story told of a husband and wife both of who were doctors - one a doctor of theology and the other a doctor of medicine. When their doorbell was rung and the maid answered, the inquirer would often ask for "the doctor". The maid’s interesting reply was: "Do you want the one who preaches ...read more
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Nov 1, 2001
Carlyle Fielding Ste, How Long Will You Limp?: "Too many churches today are devoid of the Spirit of Pentecost because they are dry and stale, where people are in a stupor; where worship services are wooden and so scripted that they are hollow; where the preaching is dull and flat; where the ...read more
Contributed by Curt Cizek on Feb 25, 2003
I went to a conference this past fall. The pastor leading the conference challenged us all on the first day. He convicted us all by asking us three questions. I was sitting in the back near the side so I could see everyone’s body language. The pastor asked, “Those of you who have kids or ...read more
Contributed by Melvin Maughmer, Jr. on Jun 7, 2003
Pentecost was originally an Old Testament festival, the only festival for which no specific date is given in the Bible, it is called the festival of weeks. Leviticus 23:15 however instructs the people to count 7 weeks from the ...read more