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Six Stages of a Married Cold

First year: "Sugar Dumplin, I'm really worried about my baby girl. You've got a bad sniffle and there's no telling about these things with all this stuff that's going around. I'm putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general checkup and a good rest. I know the food's lousy, but I'll be bringing your meals in."

Second Year: "Listen Darling, I don't like the sound of that cough and I've called Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl, just for Popps."

Third Year: "Maybe you better lie down, honey. Nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy. I'll bring you something. Have we got any canned soup?"

Fourth Year: "Now look, dear, be sensible. After you've fed the kids and got the dishes done and the floor waxed, why don't you lie down?"

Fifth Year: "Not feeling good? Take a couple of aspirin."

Sixth Year: "I wish you'd just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal."

Seventh Year: "For Pete's sake, stop sneezing! Are you trying to give me pneumonia?"

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