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A few years ago the Plain English Campaign ran a national survey that found that some people would rather have a grander job title than a pay rise. This might seem astonishing, but upgrading job titles has apparently become more and more popular as employers try to keep their staff happy.


Here are some examples.


• Space consultant (estate agent)

• Ambient replenishment controllers (shelf stackers)

• Revenue Protection Officer (ticket inspector)

• Foot health gain facilitator (chiropodist)

• Head of Verbal Communications (secretary)

• Technical horticultural maintenance officer (gardener)

• Flueologist (chimney sweep)

• Dispatch services facilitator (post room worker)

• Regional head of services, infrastructure and procurement (caretaker)

• Knowledge navigator (teacher)


I suppose these grand titles appeal to human pride. But it is no just in the world of secular employment that men make things sound grander than they really are, but even in the things of God. I remember when I was training for ministry I was studying systematic theology, which in itself simply means a methodical study of the nature of God, I was introduced to such wonderful terms that, at first, appeared a little bit intimidating. Terms such as pneumatology, which is the study of the Holy Spirit, and anthropology, the study of the nature of man. I read about soteriology, which believe it not, is the study of the doctrine of salvation. There is something in human nature that always wants to make simple things complicated. So from now on, when people ask me what my occupation is, I will no longer say “pastor”, but tell them I am a soteriological communicator!

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