Sermon Central
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You Might Be In A Country Church If....... PRO
Contributed by Dru Ashwell on Dec 16, 2001 (message contributor)
You might be in a country church if.......
1. The doors are never locked.
2. The Call to Worship is "Y’all come on in!"
3. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
4. The Preacher says, "I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.
5. The restrooms are outside.
6. Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.
7. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, "I ain’t ever been in a hole it couldn’t get me out of".
8. In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of "two calves".
9. Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy any meat or vegetables.
10. When it rains, everybody’s smiling.
11. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service.
12. A singing group is known as the "OK Chorale".
13. The church directory doesn’t have last names.
14. The pastor wears boots.
15. Four generations of one family sit together in worship every Sunday.
16. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during
the summer and then only so their neighbors can’t leave them a bag of squash.
17. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
18. Baptism is referred to as "branding".
19. There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
20. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
21. You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 O’clock that afternoon you have had a dozen calls inquiring about your...
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In 1953 in Grimes Iowa, Violet Cross was getting sicker by the day. Finally her eldest son Frank insisted she go to the doctor. Eventually they ended up at the large teaching hospital in Iowa City. The diagnosis was devastating. Though Violet had never smoked she was dying of Lung cancer. One ...read more
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A Cartoon By Joe Mckeever... PRO
Contributed by Aaron Householder on Sep 30, 2004
A cartoon by Joe McKeever... A smiling woman greeting a surprised pastor as she leaves church says, "All my life I heard pastors say they were ...read more
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Note: I Do Not Show This Clip To Discredit Those ...
Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Nov 3, 2004
Note: I do not show this clip to discredit those individuals who are genuine and are sent by God to go around the world and hold revival meetings. Illustration: From the Movie clip from “Leap of Faith” Clip: The one were they put their show of deception on for the first time. He tells them ...read more
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During The Reign Of Oliver Cromwell, There Was A ... PRO
Contributed by Dixon Olu. David on Apr 26, 2004
During the reign of Oliver Cromwell, there was a shortage of currency in the British Empire. Representatives carefully searched the nation in hopes of finding silver to meet the emergency. After one month, the committee returned with its report. “We have searched the empire in vain seeking to ...read more
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Let Me Tell You About Neroli Endacott. While ...
Contributed by W F on Jun 12, 2005
Let me tell you about Neroli Endacott. While others her age can kick back, relax, shoo the kids out the door, and consider retirement - - 59 year old Neroli (who lives on the Gold Coast in Australia), fills her days being mum to some of that states most "at risk" children. Since 1999 she has cared ...read more
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