I heard about a pastor who had been called to a church, and the very first Sunday he got up and he preached for about a half an hour, and everyone thought he was just great. And then on the next Sunday, he got up to preach, but he was finished in fifteen minutes. Everybody thought that was kind of strange, but they were gracious and nobody said anything. But, on the next Sunday, he started and kept preaching and preaching and preaching, and he went on for two solid hours.
Well, the deacons called him into the office after the service for a little meeting. One of them began by asking, "What’s going on?" The pastor was very apologetic and he said, "I can explain. You see, the first Sunday everything was normal, but on the morning of the second week, I broke one of the back teeth in my dentures, and it kept cutting my gum when I preached. So, I decided I had better cut my message rather than hurt myself."
And then he said, "The third Sunday, I got up a little bit late, and I took my wife’s dentures by mistake. Once I started preaching, I couldn’t get them to stop."
Related Text Illustrations
Contributed by Russell Brownworth on Dec 3, 2001
In the 1950¡¦s comedy classic ¡§I Love Lucy,¡¨ one episode dealt with Lucy¡¦s lack of cooking skills. She had no clue how much yeast to use. She kept dumping it in¡Kone box, two, three. She left the bread in the refrigerator for a while as she talked on the phone. When she returned the kitchen ...read more
The Truth Hurts PRO
Contributed by Darren Ethier on May 9, 2002
THE TRUTH HURTS Some of us may be able to sympathize with the fellow who received a call from his wife just as she was about to fly home from Europe. "How’s my cat?" she asked. "Dead." "Oh, honey, don’t be so honest. Why didn’t you break the news to me slowly? You’ve ruined my trip." "What do ...read more
Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Jul 14, 2002
Annie Dillard, in her book The Writing Life, tells of an experiment that was done with butterflies. The experiment involved placing a male butterfly with a female butterfly of his own species. Then they placed a painted cardboard butterfly alongside them. The cardboard butterfly was bigger than ...read more
Contributed by William Neel on Jan 23, 2003
Ill. There is a terrible story about a man who went out to play golf early one Saturday morning. His wife became concerned when he had not returned home by dinner time. It wasn’t until about midnight when he came through the front door, exhausted. “Where have you been?” she demanded “I’ve been ...read more
Contributed by Jerlette Mickie on Jan 28, 2003
Glossary Visionary – one who is creative thinker, innovator, seer, a futurist Provider- one who brings, gives or provides or contributes provision. A source of strength, security, and or ones well being. Making life better. Mentor- one that advises, counsels, guides, tutor, teaches and ...read more