We've released a new version of SermonCentral! Read the release notes here.
Text Illustrations
Two missionaries were on their way through the jungle when they were captured by a group of cannibals. The two missionaries, Harrison and Thompson, were brought to the village with much fanfare where they were presented to the chief. The village chief stepped forward and said in perfect English, “Welcome to our village. Now that you have been captured, let me explain what will happen next: First we will skin you, and make canoes out of your skins – then we will roast you and eat you. However, we being a civilized people, offer you one last request.” Turning to Thompson the chief asked, “What will your final request be?”. The crowed went quiet. After a time, Thompson looked up and said, “For my final request, I ask for a knife”. “KNIFE!”, Shouted the chief. “KNIFE!”, Shouted back the villagers, and the search was on. Finally, a large warrior held up a knife and shouted, “KNIFE!” As he ran forward the whole village erupted shouting, “KNIFE, KNIFE, KNIFE, KNIFE,!” The warrior presented the knife to the chief who presented the knife to Thompson who took the knife and did himself in.


Harrison was shocked – this is not the kind of behavior they had learned in Seminary. The village again became quiet, and all eyes were now upon Harrison. “What will you final request be?” asked the village chief. “A fork”, said Harrison. “A fork?”, repeated back the chief. “Yes, a fork” assured Harrison. ”FORK!”, Shouted the chief. “FORK!”, Shouted back the villagers, and the search was on. It was quite difficult to find a fork in this remote village, but finally, a large warrior held up a fork and shouted, “FORK!” As he ran forward the whole village erupted shouting, “FORK, FORK, FORK, FORK,!” The warrior presented the knife to the chief who presented the knife to Thompson, “Here is your final request, a fork”, said the village chief.


Harrison took the fork from the chief and began to poke himself all over saying, “Your not going to make a canoe out of me!”