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Here are a few less-serious resolutions:

“I have resolved not to do drugs anymore, because I get the same effect just standing up really fast.”

“I have resolved to live in my own little world, because at least they know me here.”

“I have resolved to stay married, because it is so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“I have resolved to not make any ...

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