Text Illustrations
MOTHER - Job Description


POSITION TITLE :

Mom, Mama, Mommy, Mother


JOB DESCRIPTION :

Candidates must be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.


RESPONSIBILITIES :

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.


POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION :

Virtually none. You will remain in the same position for years, without complaining.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

You pay those under your care and offer them frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 ...

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