POSITION TITLE :
Mom, Mama, Mommy, Mother
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Candidates must be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION :
Virtually none. You will remain in the same position for years, without complaining.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
You pay those under your care and offer them frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 ...
Continue reading this sermon illustration (Free with PRO)
Related Text Illustrations
Contributed by Stephen Fournier on Dec 8, 2000
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" she asks. Her mother replies, "Well, every time ...read more
Contributed by Davon Huss on Jan 29, 2001
B. There is a story about four preachers discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible. One liked the King James Version best because of its simple, beautiful English. Another liked the American Revised Version best because it was closer to the original Hebrew and Greek. Still ...read more
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Feb 21, 2001
Tony Campolo says that his wife is a brilliant woman. She has a PHD & is capable of pursuing a very profitable career. But she elected to stay home with her children when they were young. Her decision didn’t bother her at all except when other women would ask, “What do you do?” ...read more
Contributed by Steve Malone on Apr 3, 2001
Erma Bombeck in her book, "Motherhood the second Oldest Profession" writes; "I have always felt that too much time was given before birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn’t ...read more