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SOMEBODY SAID


Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby.

Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, normal is history.


Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.

Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.


Somebody said being a mother is boring.

Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.


Somebody said if you’re a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."

Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.


Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices.

Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.


Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother.

Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.


Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first.

Somebody doesn’t have more than one child.


Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books.

Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.


Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.

Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.


Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.

Somebody never organized seven giggling Girl Scouts to sell cookies.


Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married.

Somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.


Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home. Somebody never had grandchildren.


Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her.

Somebody isn’t a mother.


SOURCE: Mikey's Funnies Web site: http://www.youthspecialties.com/linker/index.php?id=141

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