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Gary Ingrid, who has written extensively on friendship, tells the tale of some parents on the East coast who got a telephone call from their son during the Korean War. They were thrilled, because they hadn’t heard from him for many months. He said he was in San Francisco on his way home.

"Mom, I just wanted to let you know that I’m bringing a buddy home with me," he said. "he got hurt pretty bad, and he only has one eye, one arm, and one leg. I’d sure like him to live with us."

Sure, son," his mother replied. "He sounds like a brave man. We can find room for him for a while."

"Mom, you don’t understand. I want him to come live with us."

"Well, OK," she finally said. "We could try for six months or so."

"No, Mom, I want him to stay always. He needs us. He’s only got one eye, one arm, and one leg. He’s in really bad shape."

By now the mother had lost her patience. "Son, you’re being unrealistic about this. You’re emotional because you’ve been in a war. That boy will be a drag on you and a...

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