We've released a new version of SermonCentral! Read the release notes here.
Text Illustrations
The US Peace Corps train their workers to deal with any kind of eventuality they might meet in the field, and since they work in the jungles of South America, it’s quite possible that they might encounter an Anaconda, the largest snake in the world. A full grown Anaconda is not just a snake. It is a telegraph pole with a temper! It takes 10 men to carry one -- if it is in a good mood. Here are the instructions in one of the Peace Corps’s manuals, posted on the Internet:

1: If you are attacked by an Anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are. Don’t try to outrun it.

2: Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides and your legs tight against one another.

3: Tuck in your chin.

4: The snake will come and begin to nudge and will climb about your body.

5: Do not panic.

6: After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet, always the feet. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic.

7: The snake will begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.

8: When the snake has reached your knees, slowly and with as little movement as possible reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake’s mouth, between the edge of its mouth and your leg. Then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake through the top of the head.

9: Be sure you have your knife.

10: Be sure your knife is sharp.

Of course, if you get to number nine, or even ten, and find you’ve forgotten your knife, or that it’s blunt, the rest doesn’t really matter!