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Reasons Why I Owe My Mother...Things she taught me about life.


My mother taught me RELIGION.

’You better pray that koolaid stain will come out of the carpet.’


My mother taught me LOGIC.

’ Because I said so, that’s why .’


My mother taught me FORESIGHT

’Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.’


My mother taught me IRONY

’Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.’


My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

’Shut your mouth and eat your supper.’


My mother taught me about STAMINA.

’You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.’


My mother taught me about WEATHER.

’This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.’


My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .

’I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.’


My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

’Stop acting like your father!’


My mother taught me about ENVY.

’There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.’


My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

’You just WAIT until we get home.’

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