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George had a friend with an inflated opinion of himself. As a friend should, George decided to help his friend lose this quirk. Subtly, George mentioned that he knew Johnny Carson. The friend said, "Oh, yeah, prove it." In a few minutes, they were in front of a large house near the beach. After knocking, out came Johnny Carson saying, "Come on in, George, and bring your friend." On the way home the friend grudgingly said, "OK, so you know Johnny Carson."

Obviously, this was not enough, so George said offhandedly, "Yes, he and I and the president are well-acquainted." The friend looked in the air, at nothing, and cried out, "That’s too much, I’ll pay the costs--let’s go to D.C. and see." At the White House, they just arrived, and out came the president to greet them, saying, "Come on in, George, and bring your friend." Later George’s friend looked around sheepishly and admitted, "Well, yeah, you do know the president."

George sensed his friend needed further deflation. So casually he remarked, "Yeah, but you know the pope has a nicer office." "What!" yelled his wide-eyed friend. "You know the pope! I’ll bet you ten thousand dollars you can’t even get in to see the pope." In a few days, they were in Rome, with George knocking on a door to the Vatican. A cardinal came out extending his hand to George, but saying, "Your friend will have to stay outside!"

About an hour went by, when out came the pope onto the balcony,...

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