I'm 14, Depressed And See No Reason To Live

I’m 14, depressed and see no reason to live.

Hi. Look I am 14 almost 15 and well I am depressed. Majorly depressed. I have no life. I mean come on, I have no friends, I am picked because my appearance is different, soccer practices are really crappy (I get made fun of, tripped, soccer balls are kicked at me, and the rest of it.), my parents are constantly yelling at me, I lock my self in my room and think of ways of suicide. I have tried suicide once but I couldn’t go through with it. Basically I tried cutting my throat. I am supposedly catholic, but I don’t understand anything. I have researched other religions and they seem "fake" too. There is like only one thing that I understand and it is more of a culture not a religion and it is Goth. i mean i love arts, music, i live my life in the dark, and so on. I don’t know what to do. I am lost in this world. And I know that I wont understand it. All I think about now is suicide. My school grades are low, I don’t do any work, and all the teachers hate me. I know that a 14-year-old person should be having the time of their life and stuff but I’m not. I try to live my life as long as I can but my efforts will fall short soon. I know it.