Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of these excuses:
*They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.
*This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.
*I was working smarter - not harder.
*Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout.
*I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
*This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
*I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.
*I’m in the management training program.
*I’m actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP).
I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.
*This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!
*Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.
*The coffee machine is broken ....
*Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.
*Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off.
*Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!
*I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.
*The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.
*Gosh, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.
*From Pastor Tim’s CleanLaugh Archives
Related Sermon Illustrations
Contributed by Karl Eckhoff on Nov 13, 2003
Blow the trump and ring the bell; Dress it up and make it sell; Fill it with the rich and well; And count the heads. We’re doing well! But where’s the faith? Read the creed and get it right; Hold it fast with all your might; Close the door and bolt it tight; We’ve no need for ...read more
Contributed by Mark Witherden on Jan 4, 2003
Williams James: "The greatest use of life is to spend it for ...read more
Contributed by Steven Simala Grant on May 28, 2002
A few weeks ago I rented the movie AI. It is set in the future, where a company has created a human robot child with the ability to love unconditionally. In many ways it was a disturbing movie, posing a number of difficult questions about what it means to be human and what the limits of our ...read more
Contributed by Kevin Higgins on Jan 1, 2003
George Muller, who was known for his strong faith, confided, "The first 3 years after conversion, I neglected the Word of God. Since I began to search it diligently, the blessing has been wonderful. I have read ...read more
Contributed by Tom Shepard on Dec 24, 2015
This sermon looks at seven principles for stress management. 1. Know Who You Are 2. Know who you want to please 3. Know what you want to accomplish 4. Focus on one thing at a time 5. Make a habit of personal prayer 6. Take time to rest 7. Give your stress to Christ