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Gordon Zwicky won top honors in this year’s Burlington Liars Club. Zwicky, who is 72, beat out 299 other people from 31 states and Canada. Zwicky claimed he and his wife, Dorothy, won the lottery and decided to drive to Florida. They had never been anywhere before, but their neighbor told them they would be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs. Thirty miles from home they saw a sign stating, “Clean Restrooms Ahead.” Two months later they arrived in Florida. By that time, they had cleaned 450 restrooms using 267 rolls of paper towels, three cases of bowl cleaner and 86 bottles of Windex. They were so tired, they immediately left for home.

Thankfully, getting to heaven is not that hard. . . or is it? Actually, trying hard...

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