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[It would be nice of you to add this to the general humor section instead of SermonCentralPro because you need some new stuff in that section.]

If My Body Were a Car

By Anonymous

I see newer models rolling down the street,

But my own car is growing older and it’s not very neat.

I’ve got bumps, dents and scratches that have ruined my new coat.

Instead of zipping around, it drives like a boat.

My tires are balding and I have this little fear,

My radio and 8 track are getting harder and harder to hear.

My little MG fenders are sadly now a bummer.

Today they are wide enough to fit a brand new hummer.

My leather seats are stained and wearing rather thin,

I gave up seat belts when the Krispy Crème moved in.

I’m sorry to say I’ve got, no air bags in this prize.

The only bags I have these days are circles under my eyes.

My headlights are out of focus, it’s especially hard to see,

My driving is unstable and at times a bit bumpy.

For a jump start in the morning, coffee meets the need,

But it takes a couple hours to...

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