Sermon Central
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Q: How Many Lawyers Does It Take To Change A ... PRO
Contributed by Ted Sutherland on Oct 1, 2001 (message contributor)
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one but it will take a million years.
Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
Q: How many ‘Real Men’ does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: ‘Real Men’ aren’t afraid of the dark.
Q: How many ‘Real Women’ does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A ‘Real Woman’ would have plenty of real men around to do it.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
Q: How many Smogarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
Q: How many strong Smogarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 115. One to hold the bulb and 114 to rotate the house.
Q: How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester’s credit for it!
Q: How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five: One to hold the bulb, and four to guzzle beer until the room spins.
Q: How many Harvard grads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
A: This topic was resumed from last week’s discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week.
Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?...
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According To Medieval Legend, Before King Arthur ... PRO
Contributed by John Williams Iii on Aug 27, 2002
"According to medieval legend, before King Arthur sent his knights on errantry to right wrongs and befriend the helpless, he would call them together at his round table, where each knight could see the face of the his king and the faces of his fellows. Shall the followers of the King of Kings do ...read more
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All For One PRO
Contributed by John Williams Iii on Aug 27, 2002
ALL FOR ONE "According to Bill Jauss and Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune, on July 19, 1996, Chad Kreuter, a reserve catcher for the Chicago White Sox, severely dislocated and fractured his left shoulder on a play at home. He underwent surgery, and the Sox placed him on the sixty-day ...read more
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For Safety's Sake . . . ( Source Unknown) PRO
Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Aug 27, 2002
FOR SAFETY’S SAKE . . . ( source unknown) Do NOT ride in automobiles: they cause 20% of all fatal accidents. Do NOT stay home: 17% of all accidents do occur in home. Do NOT walk on the streets or sidewalks: 14% of all accidents happen to pedestrians. Do NOT travel by air, rail, or ...read more
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Gale Sayers, Hall Of Fame Running Back For The ...
Contributed by Brian La Croix on Dec 28, 2004
Gale Sayers, Hall of Fame running back for the Chicago Bears was also known for his friendship with a fellow player, Brian Piccolo, who was battling cancer as Sayers was coming back from a rather serious knee injury. The movie, Brian’s Song was based on that friendship, and it typified what I’m ...read more
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Sustaining Fellowship—communion Meditation PRO
Contributed by John Williams Iii on Aug 27, 2002
SUSTAINING FELLOWSHIP- COMMUNION MEDITATION Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor and theologian who was an enemy of the Nazis because he refused to go along with their state idea of a church that practiced the anti-semitism of the Nazis. In fact, he was a hunted man who upheld authentic ...read more
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