Sermon Illustrations

Good News/Bad News for Chaplains

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.

Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Protestant Women of the Chapel voted to send you a get-well card.

Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: Your Chapel Council accepted your job description the way you wrote it.

Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.

Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.

Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your...

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