Sermon Illustrations

In tough economic times maybe you’re thinking about polishing your resume and applying for a different job. If you find yourself looking, let me give you a little help. I came across several statements from actual resumes and job applications – and you might want to take notes and file these under the category of “what not to use” on a resume or application.

First this one – it was under the “qualifications” line on a resume. “I was wholly responsible for two failed financial institutions.” That might be more information than the person realized he was giving. Another one from the “too much information” category: someone wrote, “I intentionally omit my salary history. I’ve made money and I’ve lost money! I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. I prefer being rich!”

In a similar vein was this one -- “I’m a man filled with passion and integrity, I can act on short notice. I’m a class act and do not come cheap!” Another person -- proud of past accomplishments -- wrote, “I have an excellent track record, even though I’m not a horse!”

There were others who revealed things without saying them. One person attached a note to a resume saying, “Please do not misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping”. I have never quit a job in my life!” Then there was the person who completed a question this way: Number of dependents -- 40!

There’s this answer on an application question, asking about the “reason for leaving last position.” One person answered -- “My supervisor expected everyone in the office no later than 8:45AM. I refuse to work under those circumstances!” One lady said the reason she left her last job was for “maturity leave”!

A prospective employer needs to be able to contact the applicant. One guy wrote, “I’m loyal to my employer at all costs -- please feel free to contact me on my office voice mail.” Finally, under “references” -- one person wrote -- “none – I’ve left a path of destruction in my wake!”

Did you ever stop to think that God has qualifications, especially for leaders?

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