Sermon Illustrations

Someone came up with these observations about life - insights that are humorous:

1. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

2. I love cooking with wine - sometimes I even put it in food.

3. If it weren’t for stress, I’d have no energy at all.

4. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

5. Learn from the mistakes of others - you cannot live long enough to make them all yourself.

6. I know that God won’t give me more than I can handle - I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.

7. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

8. We cannot change the direction of the wind - but, we can adjust our sails.

9. Experience is a wonderful thing - it enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

10. If the shoe fits - buy it in every color.

11. If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

12. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

13. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. (American evangelist William Ashley "Billy" Sunday )

14. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

15. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you have never tried before.

16. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

17. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

18. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

19. Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

Since the bottom line is that we do not learn very well from teaching, "Why do parents parent? Why do teachers teach? Why do pastors preach?" I believe that people do those things because they hope that something - some seed - will fall on fertile ground - that something they have taught - may, in the future, turn out to be a life-saving thought!

From George Dillahunty’s Sermon “Worth Remembering”

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