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Jim Lopardo tells this story: I was a percussion major when I was in college, and during a rehearsal of the student orchestra, my section kept making mistakes.

"When you’re too dumb to play anything," the professor conducting us sneered, "they give you a couple of sticks, put you in the back and call you a percussionist."

A friend next to me whispered, "And if you’re too dumb to hang on to both sticks, they put you in the front and call you a conductor." [source: Reader’s Digest]

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