Sermon Illustrations


Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of these excuses:

"They told me at the blood bank that this might happen."

"This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

"I was working smarter - not harder."

"Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout."

"I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."

"I’m in the management training program."

"I’m actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP). I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."

"This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

"The coffee machine is broken..."

"Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot."

"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off."

"Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

"I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

"The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun, so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."

"Gosh, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."


(From a sermon by Jason Jones, "Why Not to Sleep in Church" 1/29/2009)

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