GETTING CAUGHT ASLEEP
Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of these excuses:
"They told me at the blood bank that this might happen."
"This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."
"I was working smarter - not harder."
"Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout."
"I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
"I’m in the management training program."
"I’m actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP). I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
"This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broken..."
"Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot."
"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off."
"Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
"I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."
"The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun, so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."
"Gosh, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
(From a sermon by Jason Jones, "Why Not to Sleep in Church" 1/29/2009)
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God is always good to us.