All Lambert's Fault

ALL LAMBERT'S FAULT

Have you ever been to Lamberts Cafe? If not, I highly recommend it. The waiters wear suspenders and bow ties, the meals are served on metal skillets. The drinks come in the largest plastic cup you will ever see, and there are peanuts on the floor. It is the home of the throwd roles and a haven for gluttony. The portions at Lamberts are about three times the size of what a normal person could consume. In addition to that they continually toss rolls at you, offer you fried okra, potatoes, and various other side items. As if that was not enough however, everything is all you can eat. If you order a steak and somehow manage to eat it all, they will bring you another one.

A few months ago my wife and I were out of town at a marriage seminar in Branson. One of the nights there was a date night. So we went to Lamberts Cafe for dinner. I ordered a steak and some how managed to eat all of it. I had 4 barrel-sized glasses of sweet tea and a small mountain of fried okra. The waitress brought out another steak as if to say: "I bet you can't eat this! Oh yea, you can eat that steak sure--but can you eat this steak?" Like any reasonable male would looked at this and said, no, I don't need it. I am full. No need to try and challenge me to eat more I am bigger than your games."

Actually I dove into that steak like a diver into a pool at the Olympics. I was not about to be scared off by a second steak, and I ate almost all of it. Bad move. I ate WAY more than I needed to. As a result my stomach was killing me. By the time we got back to the hotel, I thought I was feeling better. So we went to the hot tub to relax. Instead of relaxing though, the hot tub broiled the two steaks I had eaten and left me feeling really nauseous. It was terrible. I could not get up in the morning for the first session of the conference on account of my unbearable stomach pain, and it was all Lambert's fault.