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There is a wonderful book entitled "Boundaries" in which the authors differentiate two words - Hurt and Harm.

Think of these examples. If I were to eat an entire 2 pound bag of peanut M&M's (which I sadly am fully capable of doing!) would it hurt me? No, it would feel great! Would it harm me? Yes, it would harm my health, my teeth, etc.

How about visiting the dentist? Would it hurt? Yes. Would it harm? No, it will keep me from harm.

A good parent will allow his child to be hurt in order to keep him from harm. Would it be cruel of me to pull my daughter's hair to save her life as she was about to step into the path of a bus? It would hurt her, but save her from harm. A benevolent parent would NEVER harm his child! But to avoid harm, we must allow our children to experience some hurt.

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