Sermon Illustrations

THE SEVEN STAGES OF A COLD--FOR MARRIED COUPLES

Though marriages are meant to last a lifetime, they can deteriorate rather quickly. I like what someone calls the seven stages of a cold for a married couple.

The First year of marriage, the husband says, "Honey, I’m worried about my little girl. You have a bad sniffle. I want to put you in the hospital for a complete checkup. I know the food is terrible there, but I have arranged for meals for you to be sent in from Hanson’s. Yummy!"

The Second year: "Listen, sweetheart, I don’t like the sound of that cough. I’ve called the doctor and he said I can bring you in this afternoon. Just rest in bed until it’s time go."

The Third year: "Maybe you should lie down, dear. I’ll make supper tonight. Do we have any cans of soup in the house?"

The Fourth year: "Look, dear be sensible. After you have fed the kids and washed the dishes, you should go to bed."

The Fifth year: "Why don’t you take a couple of aspirin."

The Sixth year: "Please gargle, or something, instead of sitting there barking like a seal. I think I’ll sleep on the couch tonight."

The Seventh year: "Would you stop sneezing. What are you trying to do, give me pneumonia? You better sleep on the couch tonight."

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