Contributed by Sermoncentral on Jun 22, 2001
If you took all the people who attended church each Sunday and laid them end to end . . . . .
Contributed by Brian Mavis on Nov 1, 2001
TOP 5 SIGNS YOUR CHURCH IS TOO CONTEMPORARY:
5. At the annual meeting, you play Survivor to elect new leaders
4. When asked what church things begin with "J", the youth in church shout "Java" before "Jesus"
3. When asked, "Who wrote the Bible?" most members say "Eugene Peterson"
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Jul 6, 2004
“The only thing worse than the pain of change is the pain of staying the same when change is really needed.” Building a
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Jul 13, 2004
TOP TEN WAYS YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN A BAD CHURCH
10. The church bus has gun racks.
9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor.
8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."
7. There’s an ATM in the lobby.
6. The choir wears leather robes.
I once saw the concrete block shell of a church someone had started building years earlier. The project had been halted. There was no roof on the building and trees and shrubs had grown inside the shell. One of the pine trees growing inside the uncompleted church was at least 15 feet tall. I’ll
Contributed by Clyde Grimes on Jun 25, 2003
However, as Robert Saucy points out, “the New Testament never confuses Israel and the church. As opposed to the church, which is a religious body composed of individuals from all nations, the term Israel retains its reference to the people
Contributed by Dana Chau on Jul 1, 2003
Someone tells about a pastor who was late for church. He flagged down a taxicab and instructed the cabdriver to do everything within his power to get him to church on time. So the cab sped off and weaved through traffic for about ten blocks. The dangerous driving ended in a fatal accident. Both
Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Jan 7, 2004
A woman was interviewing a prospective servant and asked, “Can you serve company?”
The applicant replied “Yes, mum, both ways.”
The woman looked puzzled and asked, “What
Contributed by Rick Pendleton on Feb 2, 2004
A small town had three churches: Presbyterian, Methodist, and Baptist. All three had a serious problem with squirrels in the church. Each church in its own fashion had a meeting to deal with the problem. The Presbyterians decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that
Barna notes the main reason why people do not currently attend church in a survey he did in 2000 and in 1990:
Main reason for not attending church 2000 1990
1. No time; schedule conflicts; working 26% 24%
2. Not interested; nothing to offer
Contributed by Norman Lawrence on Aug 23, 2002
Old John was a man of God and loved his village chapel. One day he was stopped by an acquaintance, who, by the way, was an ardent angler. "I say, John," said the angler, "I have often wondered what attraction there is up at the village chapel. You go week after week to the same old chapel, see the
Contributed by Kerry Tilley on Aug 29, 2002
: Some clues that a church is living, vital and active are: Live churches have many people who bring their Bibles and use them; dead churches do not. Live churches are filled with praise and sounds of joy and thanksgiving;dead churches are apathetic and lifeless.
Contributed by Davon Huss on Oct 7, 2002
Some churches have parking problems, some other churches don’t. Some churches have kids running around making a lot of noise, some other churches tend to be very quiet. Some churches usually have more expenses than money, some other churches don’t need to spend much money because not much is
Contributed by Sheila Crowe on Oct 11, 2002
They are kind of like the excuses I use for not attending sporting events.
1. Every time I went, they asked for money.
2. The people I sat next to didn’t seem friendly.
3. The seats were too hard and not comfortable at all.
4. I went to many games but the coach never came
Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Jan 16, 2003
· Each of us knows how the World Trade Center fell to the ground September 11, 2001; some of us actually watched the towers fall. Few of us think about what it took to make the towers stand. The construction of this massive complex made up of seven buildings and a shopping concourse began in
Contributed by George Alves on Jan 27, 2003
Listen to these interesting statistics and comments recorded in a well known Canadian survey about the church:
81% of Canadians surveyed agreed with the following comment “I don’t think you need to go to church in order to be a good Christian”
70% agreed with this statement “My private
Contributed by Karl Ingersoll on Mar 8, 2003
The church that is alive and well is a growing one. Where there is no growth there is a problem.
Some churches have parking problems, some other churches don’t.
Some churches have kids running around making a lot of noise some other churches tend to be very quiet.
Some churches usually
Contributed by David Yarbrough on Mar 24, 2003
An evangelist went to a back woods church in the hills of Tennessee not knowing it was a snake handling church. He was setting up on the podium with the pastor when a couple of men brought in a box full of snakes and dumped them out in front of the evangelist. The evangelist turned to the pastor
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Apr 10, 2002
6. Never ask an usher to break a $20.
5. Never do a cannonball in the baptismal tank.
4. Never hold a church business meeting on Super Bowl Sunday.
3. Never tell the pastor, "We love your church and we might even come back next Easter."
2. During youth group activities, never