You Know It’s A Bad Church Business Meeting When...

…People arrive at the meeting, clutching copies of books about "spiritual abuse."

…You’re asked to try on a pair of bloody gloves.

…A loyal supporter presses a can of Mace into your hands.

…The church constitution suddenly becomes revered as the most important legal document since the Magna Carta.

…The 60 Minutes crew is there to film it.

…Your neighbors hear about the meeting on their police scanner.

…The little, blue-haired lady who’s in charge of the nursery pounds the lectern with her shoe and screams, "We will bury you!"

…People begin referring to you as "our former pastor." (It’s a Bad Church When…, date unknown, no pages)

“It’s a Bad Church when…” Date Unknown. Clean Funnies. 15 February 2007.