Signs You Ate Too Much Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 12 feet tall.
~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s axis.
~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
~ The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.
~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.
~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.
~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
~ That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.
~ Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your waterbed.
~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
~ Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard and delete this.