SOMEBODY ONCE WROTE A BOOK ‘MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS WHICH REALLY SPEAKS ABOUT HOW DIFFERENT MEN AND WOMEN REALLY ARE. I THINK IT STANDS OUT THE MOST ON THE WEDDING DAY ITSELF.

THE BIG DAY ARRIVES AND THE HUSBAND TO BE WAKES UP, RELAXES MIGHT HAVE A FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST THEN GOES OUT AND HAS A ROUND OF GOLF WITH THE LADS AND COUNTS THE MINUTES UNTIL HE HAS TO BE AT THE ALTAR. THE WIFE TO BE ON THE OTHER HAND WAKES UP AND FROM THE VERY FIRST MOMENT IS PANICKING. SHE IMMEDIATELY BEGINS TO ORGANIZE THINGS, MAKING SURE THAT EVERYTHING IS DONE PROPER ORDER. IN HER MIND AS SHE TRAVELS IN THE CAR DOWN TO THE CHURCH SHE IS REPEATING EVERYTHING THAT SHE HAS TO DO. I’LL HAVE TO DO IS GO DOWN THE AISLE, GET TO THE ALTER AND SING A HYMN, SHE REPEATS THIS AS SHE MAKES HER WAY DOWN THE AISLE ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GO DOWN THE AISLE GET TO THE ALTER AND SING A HYMN – SHE THEN SHORTENS IT INTO THREE LITTLE WORDS AISLE ALTER HYMN, AISLE ALTER HYMN AND AS THE VICAR BEGINS TO WELCOME EVERYBODY SHE CRIES OUT “I’LL ALTER HIM!”

AUBREY VAUGHAN