Summary: What to do in the 4th Step in the recovery process
Open With Prayer
Welcome we are going to discuss Step four tonight. Step Four is a fact finding and Fact facing process. We are searching for causes and conditions. We want to uncover the truth about ourselves. We want to search out the attitudes, fears, actions and behaviors that are blocking us from growth.
Lamentations 3:40-41 Let us search out and examine our ways and turn back to the Lord. Let us lift our hands and hearts to the Lord.
So once we find these and work on them, they stop being a stumbling block.
Another reason to do a 4th step is once you identify your character defects it easier to spot when we are starting to slide back to old behaviors and thus starting down the old road to new trouble.
On Monday Steve shared something that I thought was very interesting about the first 4 steps and I would like to pass it on to you guys.
Step 1 Identify the problem
Step 2 Only God can help us
Step 3 We have to let God
Step Four A renewing of the mind
What does it take to do a fourth step?
Step is a Prayer filled Step- Every step of the way you need to pray. Before you go to each part of the fourth step. We need to ask for Gods guidance and his help. Some wounds need his special help to take off the band aid to be able to look in it and start healing. Psalm 139:23-24 Search me o God and know my heart. And see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way of the everlasting
Sponsor- Very important that you have a sponsor that has walked the process before you. A sponsor is a guide during this and can help you bring out and see things that we might miss or that we might be trying to cover up and avoid
Be positive do not spend the whole time pulling out the negatives the 4th step is not a time to bash yourself up with all negatives.
Pick out your Character Defects and list them (more to follow)
Write it down. It helps that we write it down because one we don’t have that big of a memory and when we execute Step 5 it is ready to go.
Love of a group. I wouldn’t be as far along in my recovery than I would be without my group. It is a great place to get encouragement and get reminded that I am not alone.
Accountability- Be accountable to not only your sponsor but by someone you can trust and be honest with. Then hold your self accountable to them also.
WARNING- During this step we are VERY Vulnerable to be attacked by the enemy and others.
How do I do this 4th step thing what is the lists idea.
Resentments- We can not hold on to our resentments and find healing at the same time. It is best released by asking God to give us the strength to forgive the offender.
Fear- It is what we feel when we aren’t in control of a situation. Fear stops us from seeing effective options to problems. We are blinded by our fear and thus stopping our forward progress in whatever we do. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect Love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The man who fears is not made in perfect love. We need to know that Gods love removes the fear of Gods judgment.
Anger-Stuffing our anger without dealing with it can only harm us. Because as we stuff our anger we stockpile it like bombs and one day there will be a lot of innocent bodies lying around when we explode over something small. Ephesians 4:31 get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice.
Approval Seeking or codependency issues- When we seek approval in a non-positive manner. (EXAMPLE ME AND MARIO) Seeking validation in order to feel better about ourselves. Also everything we do is to please everyone else.
Another important part is the sexual part of this. How did we have inappropriate relationships. Are their problems with lusting? Jesus said that to look upon someone with lust is to commit adultery in your heart.
Avoiding intimacy with each other, we were built not only to have intimacy with God but with our spouses. It is an issue to avoid this with each other. The 4th step can help bring these things to light to start to bring healing to this area also.
As I said earlier we need to look in our mirror in a positive light and if you are like me sometimes it is hard to say something in positive light so it is ok to ask someone to help you identify positive attributes. Also list your strengths in such areas as Emotional, Spiritual and your moral attributes.