Don't Loose Your Cool Series

DON’T LOOSE YOUR COOL

"In your anger do not sin" : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,(Eph 4:26)

INTRODUCTION: ANGER: IS IT GOOD OR BAD?

A. Anger is sin when it is aggressive, vindictive, or selfish.

B. Anger is not a sin when it is opposition to a wrong rather than against a person.

·(Psa 7:11) God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day.

·(Mark 3:5) He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts,

I. DEFINITION OF ANGER

A. Anger is “a strong displeasure; a response to wounded love; emotional displeasure aroused by great displeasure.

B. There are 5 phases of anger.

·Mild irritation - an innocent experience of being upset about something or at someone.

·Indignation - a feeling that there should be an avenging; someone should pay.

·Wrath - a strong desire to avenge.

·Fury - anger expressed in acts of violence, sometimes with a temporary loss of emotional control.

·Rage - anger’s most hostile & dangerous stage; an expression of anger to such a degree that people explode with acts of brutality, often devoid of any conscious awareness of their violent outburst.

II. CAUSES OF ANGER

A. Frustration can cause anger. (Gen. 4:3-9; Jonah 4:1-9)

B. Pain can cause anger.

·(Job 19:2) "How long will you torment me and crush me with words?

C. Anxiety can cause anger. (Mark 14:47)

D. Injustice can cause anger. (1 Sam 30:30-34; 2 Sam 12:1-6)

E. Jealousy can cause anger.

·(1 Sam 18:7-8) As they danced, they sang: "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands." Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. "They have credited David with tens of thousands," he thought, "but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?"

III. DAMAGE DONE BY ANGER

A. Anger can destroy relationships with other people. (husband / wife; parent / child; friends; co-workers)

B. Anger can make the body suffer. (1 Sam 25)

C. Anger gives the devil opportunity to work.

·(Eph 4:26-27) …and do not give the devil a foothold.

IV. HOW TO BE ANGRY

A. Control your anger. Don’t let it run free.

B. Make no plans to retaliate.

·(Rom 12:19) Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

C. Direct anger at the wrong, not at the person who does wrong.

D. Respond with positive actions to right the wrong.

E. Make your anger temporary.

F. Bear no grudge against the one who angered you.

·(Lev 19:17) "’Do not hate your brother in your heart. … "’Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge …

G. Remember God’s grace.

H. Trust God to set things right.

·(1 Pet 2:23) When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

I. Choose to forgive the one who wronged you.

·(Eph 4:32) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

V. HEALING THE HURTS CAUSED BY ANGER

A. Honestly admit the harm caused by your anger.

·(Prov 28:13) He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

B. Ask forgiveness of those hurt by your anger.

·(James 5:16) Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

C. Watch what you say.

·(Prov 15:1) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

D. Set & accept accountability parameters. (2 Sam 3)

E. Avoid situations or persons that stir up your anger.

·(Prov 22:24-25) Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself.

F. Rely on God for necessary strength.

·(Phil 4:13) I can do everything through him who gives me strength.