Summary: 9 Roles of the husband and wife in a Biblical Marriage

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Preparation Outline

Specific Purpose Statement: To inform my audience about the roles of a biblical marriage for couples, wives, and husbands.

Central Idea: That marriage has specific roles for wives and husbands commanded from the one true God. He gives us these roles in His instruction manual for life (the Bible).


1. How many of you like to date?

2. How many of you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now?

3. How many of you know what the Bible says about marriage?

4. I am going to cover 9 roles of couples, wives, and husbands that are given to us in the Bible.

(Let’s start with a vivid picture that’s given to us early on in the Bible)

The first role is to leave.

1. Gen. 2:24 tells us, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, be joined with his wife and become one flesh.”

A. To leave is referring to a marriage ceremony or time of public commitment.

B. To be joined is referring to a permanent relationship.

C. To become one flesh is referring to physical union, the deepest most exclusive intimacy.

2. We must leave financially and emotionally.

A. If you are already married, have you failed to sever the financial or emotional umbilical cord?

B. People who leave home to start their own marriages need to transfer their material and practical trust from parents to God.

3. The main principle of leaving is that nothing, absolutely nothing on this earth takes precedence over you relationship with your mate.

(Which brings us right into our next role)

The second role is to cleave.

1. Now what does cleave mean?

A. I’m not talking about the meat cleaver. In the Bible this word has nothing to do with slicing and dicing.

B. Cleave from the Hebrew text is actually translated in several different ways.

C. Cleave is translated to “be glued”, “to be joined”, “to pursue”, “to cling to.”

2. This same word is used in 2Kings to describe leprosy that clings to the body and in Ezekiel describing scales that cling to the fish.

A. This word is used in a way of permanently, never to be severed, or for life.

(I’m going to start out with the wives today.)

The role of the wife is to be the helper.

1. The Bible tells us in Gen. 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.”

A. A helper is not to be a slave.

B. And to be a woman is not to be a helper to all men.

2. Men and women were created equal.

A. The Bible tells us Gal. 3, “There is neither Greek nor Jew, neither slave nor free man, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ.”

B. Let me clarify this….Women were not made to serve men yet wives were appointed to help their own husbands.

3. This is a quote my wife holds on to dearly, Bruce Wilkinson states, “The success of many men is due to the helpfulness of a women.”

(Along with the role to help comes a big responsibility, to submit.)

The responsibility of the wife is to submit.

1. Eph. 5 tells wives, “Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and he is savior of the body. Therefore just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

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