Summary: Why did David lose his son Absalom?

Text: 2 Sam 18:33b "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son" King David

Question: Why did David lose his son Absalom?


1. Not as a warrior - 1 Sam 17:32&45 (Goliath)

2. Not as an adopted son - 1 Sam 24:9-11 (Saul in the Cave)

3. Not as a King - 2 Sam 8:15 & 19:9-11

4. David failed as a father


1. He shifted his parental responsibility:

a. He was to busy being King to see Amnon’s problem 13:1-2 ( Love is spelled Time)

b. He failed to punish Amnon 13:21

c. He failed to see Absalom’s hatred and make peace between his sons. - again he was to busy to go anywhere with his sons 13:24&25

d. David failed to forgive his son completely 14:24&28 - Not so had God taught David

2. He failed to pass his own faith on to his son:

This is the saddest of all! Not so had David learned from his father Jesse.

3. He misled his son by his actions:

Absalom was about 16 when David had his affair with Bathsheba! Actually Absalom carried out God’s judgement 47 years later. (Absalom 63 - David 83) - 12:11 & 16:22


1. He had to leave his throne to spare the city.

15:6&14 - How many of God’s servants have been set aside by sexual sin?

2. He bore shame and rebuke from his enemys.

"No one buys a little passing pleasure in evil at so dear a price, or keeps it for so short a time as a good man" Maclaren (see 16:5-11)

3. Most of all David lost his son.

A man can take a lot of defeat if his son succeeds. Our children’s failures are our failures. Our children’s successes are our successes.

4. The hopelessness of David’s cry echo’s the fact that there will be no second chance.

Sandy McGee - Christian counselor says some fathers also have lost their daughters by being absent. The daughters then:

1. Have a drive for affection

2. They feel rejected - often interested in older men

3. They have a problem with appearance

4. They have trouble relating to God the Father.

Notice God does not :

1. withdraw his love

2. never disciplines in anger(1 Cor 13:5)

3. never forces our will

Notice God does:

1. Set Boundries

2. Warns us (Gal 6:7)

3. Chasens us for our benefit

4. Is willing to forgive us when we return


Is there anything in life worth loosing your children from Jesus and His work? David lost Absalom between the age of 16 & 23. Will you promise God today to stand by your children and continue to live them no matter what? Will you first give yourself to the Lord Jesus Christ, so that through Him you can be the parent God wants you to be?

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