Sermons

Summary: They have learned to LEAN, learned to LEAD, and learned to LOVE. Men’s "funnies" included. Link included to Formatted Text Version, Handout, and Powerpoint Presentation.

A Few Good Men

Ezekiel 22:30

www.gbcdecatur.org/sermons/FewGoodMen.html

Ezekiel 22:30 "And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none."

Prerequisites to being a Good Father:

Being a man, functioning as a man, taking responsibility as a man, thinking like a man, acting like a man, working like a man, all of these are prerequisites to being a good Father!

You will not be a good Father until you are a good Man.

It’s a dying art today…there are not many in our nation anymore.

Thank God we DO have a few good men here…we can always use a few more!

THE MEN’S THESAURUS

(men don’t always say what they mean) – ladies, please allow me to translate for your future benefit:

When a man says “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”

He means: "I have no idea how it works"

When a man says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD’’

He means: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner"

When a man says ’THAT’S INTERESTING DEAR.’

He means: "Are you still talking?"

When a man says: "IT’S A GUY THING"

He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical"

When a man says "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER"

He means: "Why isn’t it ready yet?"

When a man says "UH HUH, SURE HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR"

He means: Absolutely nothing – It’s a conditioned response.

When a man says "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

He means: " I can remember the theme song to ‘Hogan’s Heroes’, the phone # of the first girl I ever kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned – but yes, I forgot your birthday"

When a man says ’OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL"

He means: "I have probably severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt, so get over here and help me!"

When a man says ’I CAN’T FIND IT.’’

He means: "It didn’t fall into my outstretched hand, so I’m completely clueless"

When a man says “I HEARD YOU.”

He means: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you’ll not spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

When a man says "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"

He means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

When a man says "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!"

He means: "Oh please don’t try on one more outfit, we’re late and I’m starving."

When a man says "I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.’’

He means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

When a man says “I don’t think I can go today.”

He means: Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, I am never going to think of it that way.

When a man says, “I don’t remember saying that.”

It’s because he means: “Anything I may have said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.”

When a man says, “that’s not what I meant.”

He means: “If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one.

Browse All Media

Related Media


A Father's Love
SermonCentral
PowerPoint Template
Being A Good Father
SermonCentral
PowerPoint Template
Disciplemaking Dads
SermonCentral
PowerPoint Template
Talk about it...

Danny Brightwell

commented on Jun 9, 2014

Great lesson. Thank you for sharing it.

William Adkins

commented on Jun 11, 2014

Jerry: Thanks for sharing this sermon; I loved the humor and the serious note behind it. Blessings to you, Bill Adkins

William Randall

commented on Jan 14, 2016

Good Ideas. Humor seems a little long for a 20 min. sermon

Join the discussion