Summary: A good wife is a gift from God.
A MAN AND HIS WIFE
“Valuing And Keeping A Good Thing”
Used in Men Of Integrity Meetings by Luther Sexton
Proverbs 18:22 “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the LORD.”
INTRODUCTION: A good wife is a great blessing to a man.
I. FINDETH A WIFE
A. A Good Thing
1. Doesn’t have to have Craftsmen written on it.
2. Neither will it always say Winchester.
3. Or Ford, or Chevy, or Dodge, etc.
4. Lastly, it is not a Hewlett Packard, IBM, Digital Camera, or a Scanner.
B. A Help Meet Is A Good Thing
Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
C. How Could This Be Good?
The "Rules" taken from “His Needs, Her Needs”, Part 1 by ALAN PERKINS
1. The Female always makes the Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all the Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all the Rules, she must immediately change some or all of the Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant Misunderstanding, which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize IMMEDIATELY for causing
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. Any attempt to document these Rules could result in bodily harm to the Male.
D. Two Are Better (Even with “The Rules”) Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two are better than one;”
1. In order to lift one another up.
Ecclesiastes 4:10 “For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”
2. In order to impart heat to one another.
Ecclesiastes 4:11 “Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?”
a. Don’t be cold physically, emotionally, or spiritually with your wife.
b. Don’t expect her to supply all of the heat in your relationship.
c. A mutual relationship, giving and receiving as God intended, is a
3. In order to defend one another.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 “And if one prevail against him, two shall [husband and wife] withstand him; and a threefold cord [the family?] is not quickly broken.”
a. No one, nor nothing, should come between a man and his wife if the relationship is what God intended it to be.
b. In order to cleave, you must leave . . . others behind such as family, friends, etc.
c. Certainly, behind every good man is a good woman which is a
II. TO KEEP WHAT HE HAS FOUND, COMMUNICATION IS VITAL
A. Physical Communication
1. By supplying basic human needs such as food, clothing, shelter, etc. in such a way that says, “I Love You.” (Not grudgingly.)
2. By giving gifts that matter to her, especially during special times.
Ex: Cards, Flowers
3. By caring about the physical things that she cares about such as helping with the housework, especially if she works outside of the home. A female is attached emotionally to the furniture, carpet, etc. in the home. By taking care of them, you send the message that you are taking care of her.
B. Verbal Communication
1. Meaningful Conversation = 1 hour/day
a. Sharing feelings, hopes, dreams, and fears, as well as talking about ordinary things.
b. A man has to make a decision to have meaningful conversation.
2. Females speak 25,000 word per day vs. Males speak 12,000 words per day
C. Emotional Communication
1. A Physical Touch that sends an Emotional Message
a. Females need 10 - 12 touches per day from a loved one to remain physically and emotionally healthy. (Study at UCLA.)
b. Touching someone lowers blood pressure and literally energizes a person who is down and hurting.
2. The woman’s greatest need: Affection (Alan Perkins)
To a woman, affection represents security, protection, comfort, and approval. It is the essential cement of the relationship. This affection is not foreplay. It has no direct connection with sex.
D. Sexual Communication (Many men of God who fall, fall in sexual sin.)