Summary: The 6th message in the Home Builders series. This message describes the biblical role of the woman in the home.



Ephesians 5:21-25


A. We are continuing our Home Builders series this morning and we will be winding this series up next week

1. Today and next week we are going to take a look at the two key figures in the home–the role of the woman and the man in the home

2. There are a lot of jokes and one-liners about marriage.

a. It’s probably because as beautiful as marriage is it’s also extremely challenging and can be pretty ugly at times.

ILL> Henny Youngman

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."

ILL> Rodney Dangerfield, the man who gets no respect, says,

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

b. We want to focus on the role of the woman this morning, but don’t fret ladies, because next week we will be taking a look at the role of the man in the household.

c. But to be quite honest with you, they really go hand in hand as is seen in Paul’s letter that we want to study this morning

d. READ: Ephesians 5:21-28

B. If you were asked to describe the ideal marriage, what would you write?

1. Ladies, if you were asked to describe the ideal mate, what would you include?

a. Fellows, if you were asked to describe the ideal wife, what things would be the most important?

ILL> John Maxwell gave his congregation an article entitled, The Ideal Wife. Under the subtitle What every man expects, it said,

"Always beautiful and cheerful...could have married a movie start but wanted only that won’t run in a rainstorm...never sick...only allergic to jewelry and fur coats...insists that moving furniture by herself is good for her in cooking, cleaning the house, fixing appliances, and keeping quiet. Her favorite hobbies are mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. Her favorite expression is "What can I do for you now, Honey?" She wants you to go out with your buddies so she can stay home and get caught up on the laundry."

Then, under the subtitle: What every man gets, it said,

"She speaks 140 words a minute with occasional gusts of 180. Where there’s smoke...she’s cooking! She lets you know that you have only two faults, what you say and what you do.

2. Realistically, what you expect going into a marriage relationship is usually quite different from the reality

a. Yet, still this unique relationship is the most intimate relationship we can have in this life outside of the relationship we have with our heavenly Father

3. Marriage is a complex relationship, perhaps the most intricate on the face of the earth.

a. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize this when they say, "I do."

b. Some people think that a good marriage just happen, or depend on some mysterious blend of having the "right" people together.

c. When marriages crumble, we often hear people say that they just must have been "wrong" for each other.

d. More often than not, being right or wrong for someone depends not on some mysterious compatibility quotient, but on how willing and able we are to help meet our spouse’s needs.

e. In other words, spouses need to learn how to serve one another.

f. If you want to have the wife of your dreams, then you need to start by being the husband of her dreams.

4. This morning I want to take a look at the what God says concerning the woman’s role in the family

I> THE MATTER (VS 21-22)

A. VS 21

1. It’s important that we pause here because this is the key to the entire passage

a. Ephes. 5:21 (Msg)

Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.

b. That word "reverent" is a word that we generally associate with God–

Holy and reverend is His name.

God is to be revered–feared and respected

c. Paul says that we are to submit to one another because we respect and love Christ

2. VS 22

a. Col. 3:18

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

b. 1 Peter 3:1

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

B. Let’s talk about that word "submit" for a moment

1. It comes from a Greek word that means "to get in order under" or "to yield to authority"

a. From the way the sentence is constructed we can tell that this suggests a willing or voluntary submission

ILL> For example, when you drive within the speed limit, you willingly submit to the laws of the land

ILL> When you’re suppose to be at work by 8:00am and your ready to start when the whistle blows, then you are willingly submitting to the laws of your job

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