Summary: Part 2 in series on family. Examines qualities of a good husband.

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2 Guitars tuned to each other can both be out of tune, even if they sound just alike. But 2 guitars tuned to the same pipe or to the same tuning fork will both be in tune.

So last week as we began this series on marriage and the home, we saw that the only way your marriage is going to be all you want it to be is for both husband and wife to be in tune with Jesus Christ.

Getting Jesus first, is the easy part to figure out. How exactly we men play our part in the plan is a bit more difficult to figure out some times. As I was thinking about the difficulty of trying to figure out how you and I can become the men of our wives’ dreams, 2 thoughts came to mind. First, I thought about the Diet Coke commercial, where the women in the office building all gather at the window to watch the construction worker across the street take a break. Seeing that none of us look exactly like the model in the commercial, I thought we had better figure out a way to work with what we have.

The second thought that crossed my mind was that I could get my wife Gladys to write this message and have her tell us men how to become the man of our wives dreams. I was afraid of doing that, however, for fear that I wouldn’t be the man she described.

I finally decided that I had better check the Bible and see what it says about being a great husband. I decided to check and see what the Bible says you and I are to do to become the men of our wives’ dreams. Probably the best passage of Scripture on this is found in the book of Ephesians. So open your Bibles this morning and turn with me please to Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 21. Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 21, as this morning we see together, How To Become The Man Of Your Wife’s Dreams. Ephesians chapter 5 and beginning in verse 21.

- Read Ephesians 5:25-33

In verse 25, Paul says that husbands are to love your wives as Christ loved the church. The standard is pretty high isn’t it? But, what does it mean to love your wife as Christ loved the church? What can you do to become the man of your wife’s dreams? Number 1 you need to love your wife with a sacrificial love.


When Jesus came into the world, He loved the church. He loved us enough to leave heaven and all of its comforts, come to earth, take on a human body, be spit on and made fun of, crowned with a crown of thorns, and nailed to a cross. That’s what sacrificial love is, and that’s required if you are going to be the man of your wife’s dreams.

Now, when God said for you and I to love our wives that way, He didn’t say they deserved it. He didn’t say your wife was worthy of that kind of love. He didn’t say to love her that way if she did something to deserve it or if she did something for you in return. He said, “DO IT!” Sacrificial love is unconditional. If God waited until we deserved His love before He sent His Son, He never would have loved us. But, He did. He loved us like we were. The Bible says that, “God showed His love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” When you were at your worse, God still loved you.

Men, if you want to be the man of your wife’s dreams you must love her sacrificially and unconditionally. Now I believe that sacrificial love today, in the context of pleasing your wife, involves 5 requirements. Number 1. If you are going to love your wife sacrificially, you need to show her affection.

- 1 Corinthians 7:3 – “Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”

1. AFFECTION – The word translated in this verse as “Fulfill his duty,” basically means to show affection, to show good feelings, or to make feel good.” Men, you need to show your wife affection, you need to show her some romance as well. To most women, affection symbolizes security, protection, comfort, and approval. Men, when you show your wife affection, you are telling her that she is important to you and that you are proud of her.

Man, there are a million ways to show your wife affection. There are a million ways to romance her. One good place to start is with a hug. A hug, when you’re not expecting anything in return, can say a lot to your wife about how much she means to you. Most women can’t get enough of them. Tell me men, how often do your hug your wife? How often do you rub her back when you walk by her, and you’re not after anything? Men, women are people of touch. They are encouraged by touch. Hug your wife.

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Dave Harris

commented on Jan 21, 2008

Absolutely the best sermon I've ever read. Gene lists some very practical ways that a man can show his wife how important she is in his life - and how much he cares and loves her. For the first 8 years of our marriage we were like newlweds, then the intensity of our love and relationship started to fade every so slightly but that really concerned me. I want to spend all the days of my life with my wife and I wanted a truely wonderful relationship, not simply a coexistence. After reading this sermon and applying the principles, the excitement and passion is back. We are like newlyweds again and, really enjoying life and each others company.

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