Summary: From the example of Jacob, we will learn four truths of what it means to have a Biblical marriage.


• We left Jacob at Haran, with his father in law, Laban, and not one but two wives. Before you think that Jacob was “one luck guy”

for having two honeymoons in one week, remember how he got wife number one – he was tricked into marrying Leah; and now

has to work 14 years to marry the love of his life.

• 29:30-31 gives us a clear picture of this marriage “made from deception” – Rachel was loved and Leah was unloved (or better

greatly resented). What follows is a “soap opra” of sorts (All My Children), a war/struggle for each woman to prove her value to

her man through child birth.

Introduction: Ill: Various quotes about marriage by “famous people”

• If God waited for you and I to have the perfect marriage relationship to bless us, none of us would be blessed. Just as hard it is to

have a close, loving, wonderful relationship with God, so too is it a struggle at points to have a strong marriage. It takes work!

• The Bible has a lot to say about marriage, and it is no different in this passage. I want to take a close look at this “dysfunctional

marriage” and notice four truths about the union of Biblical marriage. (As man runs from God, he will take what God has made

and take credit for himself: I.E. creation, human body, money, morality, worship…..)

I. God Never Approved Polygamy.

A. One Approved Model: (Genesis 2:18-25) The only model ever offered by God is one man and one woman. If one man and

one woman was not the best for Adam, do you not think God would have pulled out two ribs and made two women (reflects

the Trinity)

B. Man’s Counterfeit Model: Genesis 4:19, Lamech took two wives

• Man has a habit of taking something that God makes and tries to “fix it”.

• Some argue that God allowed polygamy because of low birth rates or to keep a family name going; that opinion makes

God look out of touch or unable to provide children. (Deut. 25:5-10, levirate marriage)

• Homosexual marriage is never seen or even considered in the Bible. The sexual act (along with fornication, adultery,

incest, bestiality, any act that was an assault to marriage) was condemned in both O.T. and N.T.

• “Marriage” in Scripture was never seen as “cohabitation to have a good time” marriage is always connected with having

children and raising a family.

• No where does God command Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon to have more than one wife….or to have concubines.

II. Being Unloved is Not a Biblical Reason for Divorce. (29:31)

A. Leah was unloved but found her love in God. (29:32-ff) When Leah’s husband showed no love for her, she found her value

and worth in God’s favor. Through the names of her children you can see Leah drawing closer to God. (God sees, hears,

joined, praise, reward gift)

• In their distress, these ladies never blame God, but praise Him when a child is born.

• “A loveless marriage” is not a Biblical reason for divorce. (Matt. 5:31-32;1 Cor. 7:11) For a Christian, love is more

than “what I am getting” true love is in the giving without expectation of return. John 3:16 It loveless relationships is an

excuse to leave, God would have left us a long time ago.

B. Rachel was loved yet miserable. (30:1-ff)

• A God honoring marriage is about two people committed to do their part to strengthen and build up the other, not what

they can take away from it.

• World’s mentality – “As long as you stay good looking” “As long as you keep bringing in the money” “As long as you

make me happy” “As long as you keep appreciating me” “As long as you meet my needs..”

III. Jealousy Is Never Good for a Marriage. (30:1)

A. Rachel’s relationship with Leah suffered.

• Anger, manipulation, scheming, hostility, demands, loneliness. A relationship should never be this way with sisters; and

yet jealousy is an “acid” that will erode any relationship! Ill: two rival shop keepers, one visited by an angel. Song of

Songs 8:6 – “Love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as hell/death.

B. Rachel’s relationship with Jacob suffered.

• Demands, threats, blame, and attack. It would seem that Rachel attacks Jacob for possibably being a “spiritual wimp”.

Both Abraham & Isaac pray for children, and God blesses…what is Jacob doing? She knows that Jacob is fertile.

• A husband and wife should strive to rid any spirit of jealousy, which begins with trust. Numbers 5:11-ff “Spirit of

jealousy” when it comes to adultery (another woman)

• Application: The spirit of jealousy caused a greater divide between family members. It brought on “worldly planning” by

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