Summary: Today, we’ll look at how we can learn to hold our tongues and how we can use them effectively. Lack of communication and faulty communication has been the cause of broken family relationships.

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After last week’s message on meeting a spouse’s needs, someone left a note on the on the floor at the door to my office. It’s from “Desperate Husband.”

Dear Rick,

I need your advice. I tried practicing what you taught in last week’s sermon. I took your idea of small gifts and gave it a slight twist. In light of the current economic conditions and business being low, I bought household cleaning supplies instead of cosmetics and left one each morning with a note as follows:


A can of furniture polish and a note reading: “I Pledge to always love you!”


A bottle of cleaner with a note saying: “You are Fantastic!”


A can of carpet cleaner and a note stating “My Resolve is to show you my love!”


A box of laundry detergent and a note saying “You Cheer me up each day.”


A can of stain remover with a note reading “I want to Shout it out from the mountain tops just how much you mean to me.”

Strangely enough, I did not get the response I expected. Not only did I not get the warm welcome I expected at the end of each day, but it appears the house did not get cleaned and the laundry did not get washed. Additionally, by Wednesday, she wore her flannel nightgown to bed, Thursday she added her robe, and Friday she locked the bedroom door and I ended up on the sofa.

I don’t get it! Where did I go wrong? Perhaps you can give some more advice in this week’s sermon to further enlighten me.


Desperate Husband

P.S. In case you were wondering, I got a great deal on everything at Marc’s!

* * *

Today, I want to talk to you about communication in the family.

Can you hear me now?

Improving communication in your family

Series: A home that runs

Text: Selected

Someone said that three C-words are critically important to a family’s success. 1) Compatibility: moving from clashing over differences closer to celebrating our uniqueness. 2) Conflict resolution: moving from being conflict-avoiders to conflict-facers. 3) Communication:

Today, we’ll look at how we can learn to hold our tongues and how we can use them effectively. The most important skill that you can learn is how to communicate effectively. Lack of communication and faulty communication has been the cause of marriage being torn apart, family being destroyed, and churches and organizations losing effectiveness.

Many couples mistakenly think that their inability to communicate successfully and lovingly means they don’t love each other enough. Certainly love has a lot to do with it, but communication skill is a much more important ingredient. Fortunately, it’s a skill we can learn.

To improve our family communication, I will…

1. … overcome my fear of intimacy.

Let’s go back to creation. Men and women were created in the image of God. I don’t know all of what that means. But part of what it means is that we have been given this ability to communicate.

God is a God who is not silent. He speaks. “In the beginning was the Word…” The Bible is called God’s Word. The Bible is the written Word of God and Jesus is the living Word of God. Over and over in the Bible, you see phrases like “The Word of the LORD came to him saying…” God speaks. He spoke and the worlds came into existence.

And God hears. Psalm 4:3 says, “The LORD hears when I call to Him.” Psalm 6:8 says, “The LORD has heard the voice of my weeping.”

God wants us to know Him. He wants relationship with us. He’s the Great Communicator.

So, to be created in the image of God means that we communicate. We speak and we hear. We want to know and be known. And before the fall, that’s the way it was.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed…

Genesis 1:25

But Adam and Eve fell into sin. And I want you to see one of the consequences.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.

Genesis 3:7

They covered themselves. Men and women have been covering up ever since. This is part of what it means to say that the image of God has been distorted. We are no longer sure we want to know and be known. We don’t talk well and we don’t listen well. We are fallen communicators. We fear intimacy. Our sin makes us want to run and hide from each other.

Intimacy is the understanding of each other’s innermost worlds. Most marriages end because one or both of the partners is incapable of engaging in intimacy. Most kids rebel because one or both parents won’t open – won’t talk about what’s really bugging them – won’t admit wrongdoing.

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