Summary: Have you ever gotten into a fight with a next door neighbor? Have you ever just felt alone in life? Maybe even in a room full of people? Have you felt like nobody really cared about you? It sometimes seems easier to just become a loner or not to try
Video- I belong
Have you ever gotten into a fight with a next door neighbor?
Have you ever just felt alone in life? Maybe even in a room full of people?
Have you felt like nobody really cared about you?
It sometimes seems easier to just become a loner or not to try to develop relationships with others. But there is a problem with that idea.
People living in isolation: Lose perspective on life, develop a fear of intimacy, become selfishness, and the have poor health
Why is this? Because God did not make us to live life alone. He created us for relationship.
Randy Frazee says, “The development of meaningful relationships where every member carries a significant sense of belonging is central to what it means to be the church. This is a God-ordained gathering of people that is so strong that even “the gates of hell will not overcome it.”
Community is powerful. Being unified means having the ability to dream big and succeed together for God’s Kingdom. But what happens when community hurts? (we are still human)
Developing Community is hard, it involves risk, it involves allowing your self to become venerable to others.
There is an old saying, “Forgive and Forget.” There is another old saying, “easier said than done.”
All of us are naturally selfish and prideful.
That is who we are. That doesn’t make it right. It means we have to learn to overcome it.
The sad truth is people are going to hurt us and we are going to hurt by people.
Reality is someone is going to accidentally or on purpose hurt your feelings.
It starts when we are young: Kids make fun of kids.
Teenagers/adults form prejudgments of people.
“Can you believe what she was wearing?”
“Well I heard that he…”
“I can’t believe they would come to church dressed like that.”
“How can they live like that…?”
“Oh let me tell you what they did. 5 years ago…” On and on.
Today’s Big Idea: Developing Loving Relationships
As we learn to become more like Christ we can change the world for His purpose and be the COMMUNITY He has created us to be.
Flagship Scripture: Gal 5:22-24 But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. NLT
So how do we develop these LOVING RELATIONSHIPS I am so Glad you asked.
1. To develop loving relationships we must apply Patience
1 Tim 1:16 But that is why God had mercy on me, so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. NLT
Patience is the ability to take a great deal of punishment
without losing our temper,
without becoming irritated and angry,
or without taking retribution.
This also includes the capacity to bear pain or trials without complaint, the ability to refrain under severe provocation,
In short wee need to use of self-control.
Don’t make snap judgements. Don’t have a short fuse. Get all the facts before coming to conclusions.
2. To develop loving relationship we must apply Kindness
Kindness is the state of being that includes the attributes of loving affection, sympathy, friendliness, patience, pleasantness, gentleness, and goodness.
Kindness is a quality shown in the way a person speaks and acts. It is more like a decision than emotional feeling and act.
Prov 25:21-23 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. 22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you. 23 As a north wind brings rain, so a sly tongue brings angry looks.
3. To develop loving relationships we must apply Gentleness.
- be sensitive to others
Col 3:13 You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. NLT
None of us deserve the forgiveness that God gives us each day. But over and over he forgives us.
Forgiveness is me giving up the right to hurt you for hurting me. (Anonymous quote)
This doesn’t mean we become a doormat. It means we are honest but gentle. Stern but kind.
Most conflict will can be resolved with honest but GENTLE communication.
We need to be careful about taking on the attitude of anger, malice, gossip because we don’t want to be like the world anymore.