Sermons

Summary: Christmas Eve parable/sermon detailing the activities in the Devil’s war room on the night of the divine invasion.

"Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others--the armies of heaven--praising God: "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to all whom God favors." Luke 2:13-14 (NLT)

All the lights and sirens in the war room suddenly came alive. The status sign, which usually reads Defcon 5, (or perhaps Defcon 4 in the spring time when everyone gets into a happy mood), was suddenly flashing Defcon 1. The highest state of alert.

Soldiers scrambled to find their seats in front of computer monitors. An evil looking colonel walked into the room and everyone jumped to their feet, snapping to attention. Someone switched off the warning lights and sirens - although the Defcon 1 sign continued to flash - reinforcing the severity of the condition.

The tall officer spoke. "Men, we’ve just received word that the perimeter of the planet has been breached. We’re not sure how but reconnaissance reports a division of enemy angels headed toward the Middle East. Based on our studies of the ancient writings and the pattern of behavior exhibited by the enemy we’ve been expecting something to happen. But the only abnormality that could have remotely been construed to indicate activity tonight was an unusually luminous star. That’s all we know at this point. Man your stations."

All 15 of the demons in the war room took their seats, slipped on headsets, and began glaring at computer monitors.

After four or perhaps five minutes a young lieutenant addressed the colonel, "Sir, we’re receiving a report from a spotter outside Bethlehem, a little town a few miles from Jerusalem. Sir, the angels have landed."

"How many?" the colonel interrupted. "What kind of armor do they have? Weapons?’

"Stand by, Sir," the lieutenant said. "The spotter is attempting to send an audio-visual digi-feed."

He spoke into a microphone while typing something on a keyboard. Within a few seconds an image from the scene appeared on the large screen in front of the room."

"Damn", said the colonel. (Which I need to explain to those of you sensitive about the language - and rightfully so - "Damn" is the favorite word of the demons. For us it is a cuss word but for them it’s a mission statement and an appropriate expression for everything and every situation.)

"Damn" he said it again - as a goofy devilish grin came across his face. "They’re not soldiers at all - it’s just a damn choir singing to a bunch of doltish sheep herders! Take us to Defcon 4."

Somewhere a sergeant flipped a switch and the status light stopped flashing and read "Defcon 4"

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and an almost party-like mood swept through the room. They turned up the sound on the audio feed from the scene.

As the angel choir sang "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to all whom God favors," the room broke into laughter. Three soldiers jumped up in front of the screen and began to dance.

"Peace, peace, peace. They’re all a bunch of peace-niks, one of the dancers mocked the angel choir. He tried to mimic them with his own song but being that he was a demon he didn’t have much of a feel for poetry - or anything of beauty for that matter.

"Glory to the devil in the lowest of lows about whom God never knows. Damnation on the earth Satan... Satan."

He broke off his song when he couldn’t figure out a word to rhyme with knows. Besides all the soldiers in the room began chanting, "Satan, Satan, Satan..."

"Sir" the sergeant yelled across the room to the colonel. "The general is on the line"

The colonel picked up the phone as he motioned for the room to quiet down.

"Yes, sir, it appears that there has been a minor incident in the Judean area. A division of angels has landed. But you’ll keep a kick out of this, Sir - It’s a damn choir - singing the futile praises of the enemy and telling a bunch of idiotic sheep herders about some baby supposedly born in a barn in Bethlehem. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? It’s nothing - I’m sure - just another one of the enemy’s ridiculous bunny trails. You know how he loves to get side-tracked by this kind of thing."

There was silence on the other end of the phone - then yelling - yelling so loud that everyone in the room could hear what the general was saying.

"You think those sheep herders are stupid? You’re the idiot, colonel! Bethlehem is the town from which the ancient prophets said the new king would come. Did you sleep though the class on prophecy? I can’t believe it. I’ll be there in 15 minutes to take charge."

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