Sermons

Summary: This is part two of the five Love Language Series

The Five Love languages

Part 2

Scientist did a some research on whether computers should be referred to as male or female

There where two groups doing the study

Group of males and a group of females

The male scientist decided, after long hours of research that a computer must be called a female because

1) Only it’s creator understands it’s logic

2) After all of the cost of getting the one you want, you have to spend half your paycheck on accessories

The female research group concluded that the computer must be referred to as a male because

1) After you get the one you wanted you realize that if you had waited just a little longer you could have gotten a much nicer model

2) You have to turn them on to get there attention

Dictionary for arguing with women

1. "Fine"

This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can’t stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should be quiet. (NEVER use "Fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)

2. "Five minutes"

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it’s an even trade.

3. "Nothing"

"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is

Usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)

This is NOT permission; it’s a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you’ll have a "Five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."

5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)

This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you

want because I don’t care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in

just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

6. "Loud Sigh"

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very

frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are

a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here

and arguing with you over "Nothing."

7. "Soft Sigh"

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last for, “Five Minutes.”

8."That’s Okay"

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That’s Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That’s Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

9."Please Do"

This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this

correctly, you shouldn’t get a "That’s Okay."

10. "Thanks"

The woman is thanking you. Don’t faint and don’t look for hidden

Meaning. Just say, "you’re welcome."

11. "Thanks A Lot"

Dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot"

when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the

"Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

Last week we looked at Love language

#1Words of affirmation

#2 Quality Time

Love language #3 Receiving gifts

A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, look He was thinking of me, or she remembered me

From early childhood children are inclined to give gifts.

Maybe it’s a flower brought to a mother, even if it is a flower that you didn’t want picked.

(The Barn was a gift)

From early childhood gift giving is a natural instinct for love.

If you notice your children giving allot of gifts that just might be there love language.

To the individual whose love language is giving gifts the cost is irrelevant

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