Summary: Some characteristics of true friendship as revealed in the word of God.

September 21, 2002


A. Story of David and Jonathan

1. 1 Samuel 20:1-42

2. Story of devotion, faithfulness, bravery, and commitment amidst strife, hatred, and jealousy.

3. David’s lamentation over Jonathan’s death

a. 2 Samuel 1:25-26, “How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle! Jonathan is slain upon thy high places. I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: Very pleasant hast thou been unto me: Thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.”

B. Story of Naomi and Ruth

1. Ruth 1:1-22

2. Naomi, Elimelech, and their two sons, Mahlon and Kilion

3. Because of famine in Bethlehem, they moved to Moab

4. After a while, the Elimelech passed away.

5. The two sons married Moabite women named Orpah and Ruth

6. Several years later, both sons died also.

7. Famine in Bethlehem had passed and Naomi wanted to go back to her homeland.

8. Orpah returned to her people, but Ruth, struck a deal with Naomi.

9. Ruth 1:14-17, “Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. And she said, "See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law." But Ruth said, "Entreat me not to leave you or to return from following you; for where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God; where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if even death parts me from you."


A. Importance of Friendship—Quotable quotes from famous and not so famous people.

1. Euripides, Greek play write, “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”

2. Emily Dickenson, “My friends are my estate.”

3. Woodrow Wilson, “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.”

4. Charles Caleb Colton, “True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.”

B. Principles of Friendship

1. Friendly

a. Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.”

b. ABC’s of friendship

1. Accepts you as you are

Believes in you

Calls you just to say ~Hi~

Doesn’t give up on you

Envisions the whole of you

(even the unfinished parts)

Forgives your mistakes

Gives unconditionally

Helps you

Invites you over

Just because

Keeps you close at heart

Loves you for who you are

Makes a difference in your life

Never judges

Offers support

Picks you up

Quiets your fears

Raises your spirits

Says nice things about you

Tells you the truth when you need to hear it

Understands you

Values you

Walks beside you


Yells (gently) when you won’t listen and

Zaps you back to reality (OUCH!)

c. Friendship for wrong reasons

1. Wealth

i. Proverbs 14:20, “The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich hath many friends.”

ii. Proverbs 19:4, “Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour.”

iii. Proverbs 19:6, “Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.”

2. Food

i. John 6:26, “Jesus answered them and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye seek me, not because ye saw the miracles, but because ye did eat of the loaves, and were filled.”

3. Influence

4. Social status, prestige, and fame

5. Education

6. Sexual motive

a. Knows no boundary

b. No one is immunized from such scandal

c. It happens between teachers and students

d. It happens betweens physician and patients

2. Frank and honest

a. Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

b. Although it may be difficult to say, a true friend will tell you exactly what he thinks about you.

1. A true friend will tell you that your behavior may not be appropriate for a particular situation.

2. A true friend will tell you that your attire may not be appropriate for the occasion.

3. If your friend has something against you, you will be the first and only one to know.

c. Oscar Wilde, “A true friend stabs you in the front.”

d. George Herbert, “The best mirror is an old friend.”

1. A true friend will not use flattery words for you to like him or her.

2. A true friend will not try to make you believe on something that you are not.

3. A true friend will see both your strength and weaknesses.

4. He will see both your beauty and imperfections.

5. A true friend both reflects and inspires.

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