Summary: Marriage is suppose to be a great, blissful, time between husband and wife, yet all to often we allow for our wedlock to look more like a dreadlock. So what does God have to say about this.
Keeping the Home Fire Burning Series
FROM DREADLOCK TO WEDLOCK
A marriage, especially a Christian one is supposed to be a thing of intense beauty, love and joy. However, too often, this is just not the case. Sadly, many marriages even those where both partners are believers are in serious turmoil. You know the story: a couple is deeply in love; where you see one, you see the other. They do things together, they talk about their futures, and they show their love one to another in a million little, seemingly insignificant ways. They date like this for several months or even years. Finally they reach a point where they feel that they just can’t bear to be apart any longer and they get married. For a while they are wonderfully happy. Then, after the dust settles and they get used to being together, it seems that the old flame that burned so brightly is now just a smoldering ember. She never had to open a door, now she opens them all. He never saw her unless she was looking her best, now, he sees her at her worst. There are issues that come up now that find them acting like warring nations instead of one flesh. Most of the married folk in this room know what I am talking about. When things reach this point, many couples throw in the towel and begin to look for fulfillment in someone else, then eventually divorce court. If they do not choose this route, they may decide to stay together "for the children’s sake." Either way, there is division where God intended for there to be harmony. There are problems in what should be the happiest of all human relationships. Why do things reach this point? The answer is that they either lack the tools they need to keep their home together, or they lack the commitment that is necessary to keep the home together. I am convinced, however, that things do not have to end that way!
Being realistic, what are married couples to do when wedlock turns into dreadlock? Is there hope for a marriage that seems to have gone sour? Is there a way to rekindle the old flame? Yes! But, don’t look for magic formulas. Don’t expect sudden breakthroughs that change everything radically and permanently. If your going to turn dreadlock into wedlock you are going to have to work at it. It will require effort, humility, a deep commitment to the relationship and above all, a willingness to do everything God’s way.
There are certain guidelines clearly laid out in the Bible, that if followed will make a difference in our marriages. My desire this evening is to help the married couples in this church to strengthen their relationships. I want the young people in this room, who will one day be married themselves, to know that it does not have to be a struggle. God wants each of us to know that there is hope for the home and that this hope will be found in our applying God’s principles for living. When we do, we can turn dreadlock into wedlock.
I. GOD’S PLAN FOR THE CHRISTIAN HOME (vv. 23-24)
The first requirement for a godly Christian home is that the husband and the wife both be brought under the headship of Jesus Christ. Before there can ever be unity as a couple, there must first be a growing relationship with Christ as individuals.
There are four main areas that need our attention:
A. Be Certain of Your Salvation
• It is absolutely imperative that both partners in the marriage covenant be believers.
o An unequal yoke produces a relationship that is totally out of balance
o Without the presence of Christ dwelling in both hearts, the marriage is doomed for trouble from the start.
o However, in a home where both spouses are saved and striving to serve the Lord, the Holy Spirit is able to equip them to handle their problems.
• There are rare cases where a believer and a non-believer have had a good marriage, but they are the exception and not the rule.
o More often than not, the unbeliever will eventually drag the believer down to their standard of living.
o Don’t have the attitude, "Well, I can change them."
First, if you really love someone, you shouldn’t want to change them.
Second, God, not you, is in control of salvation.
B. Be Clean from All Sin
• Sin should be confessed as far as it is known.
• Be sure that all sin has been dealt with before the Savior, and where necessary, before your spouse.
C. Be Committed To Your Savior
• Be sure that in every area of life, Jesus possesses complete control.