Summary: See how God turns our “Panic” situations into celebrations of Praise!
FROM PANIC TO PRAISE
A. HUMOR: HEALTH CARE JOKES
1. Benny got chest pains and went to see his doctor. After examining him, the doctor said,
a. "There are 2 different opinions on how best to treat you. I'm convinced that you need a triple bypass heart operation.”
b. “However, your Gov’t Health Care says all you need is to take this $10 tube of chest ointment and rub it in twice a day."
2. Another guy, Abe, went to see Dr. Myers, his psychiatrist:
a. "Doctor, I need your help in a big way. I feel very suicidal. What should I do?"
b. Dr. replied, "First, You must pay me in advance."
3. Max was crossing over a road & was hit by a bus. He was rushed to the hospital and put in intensive care. A few day’s later, Harry, his best friend, visits him.
a. “So how are things, Max?” Harry asks.
b. “Not good. My wife Leah visits me three times a day.”
c. “So what’s bad about that?” says Harry.
d. “Every time she comes,” replies Max, “she sits at my bedside and reads to me.”
e. “What does she read?” asks Harry.
f. ”My life insurance policy.”
9 The Egyptians—all Pharaoh’s horses and chariots, horsemen and troops—pursued the Israelites and overtook them as they camped by the sea. 10 As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. 11 They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” 13 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” 15 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. 16 Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. 30 That day the Lord saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore. 31 And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant. 15:20 Then Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women followed her, with tambourines and dancing. 21 Miriam sang to them: “Sing to the Lord, for He is highly exalted. The horse and its rider He has hurled into the sea.”
1. There’s a new Exodus movie coming out that has some amazing special effects. But I can’t recommend it because Hollywood often adds profanity and lewd & inaccurate material.