Summary: Introduction: What is one of the most common complaints among spouses in today’s marriages? I read a People magazine article and the number one complaint is communication. Women say men don’t understand or listen and men say that women don’t understand us
James 1:19-27 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: (20) For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (21) Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. (22) But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (23) For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: (24) For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. (25) But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. (26) If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. (27) Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
Title: Guarding Your Tongue
Introduction: What is one of the most common complaints among spouses in today’s marriages? I read a People magazine article and the number one complaint is communication. Women say men don’t understand or listen and men say that women don’t understand us. I have found this to be true in our relationships with those outside our marriages.
How many people here have ever said words that they wish they could take back? How often have we dropped the guard on our tongues and just said something out of anger or hurt and wished we could take it back?
I think that at often times we talk too much and listen too little. We often think that our ideas are right and nobody else’s idea is even worth considering. I have often caught myself doing just that. James tells us that we are to not do this. We can not just spontaneously spew forth our ideas and believe them to be the only right way. We as believers need to curb our tongues.
Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Paul spoke that to the church in Ephesus. So we now see that communication problems are not something new. We have been having problems talking with each other since the beginning.
It is a common reaction of the world to erupt in anger when our simple little ego’s get bruised. When we feel hurt and think that we are not being heard, we tend to react with anger in a worldly fashion. We need to replace our reactions with the right kind of actions.
The first thing we need to do is shut up. We need to close the thoughts of the world out of our minds and listen to what others are saying. Paul tells us " be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another."
Proverbs tells us Proverbs 10:18-19 He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool. (19) In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.
Often, when we have argument, we have a hateful felling in our hearts. Whether it is because we are right and they don’t want to listen or because we just don’t want to admit we are wrong, we still suffer those hateful feelings. We end up slandering another person and we end up the fool. Sometimes it is because we hold to our pride too tightly. The only way to overcome these feelings is to admit when we are wrong. Ask God for forgiveness and grant that same forgiveness to the person or persons that wronged us.
(20) For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (21) Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
Our anger and resentment and feelings of hurt all flow from the same well spring. We find that when we have these feelings, we have passed judgment on somebody else. We have embraced the ways of the world which are us. After all, we are all creatures of sin by birth. We are all sinners in need of God’s holy and redeeming grace. Jesus taught us in Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: