Summary: Today I would like to focus on the need to instill happiness in our children by giving them a sense of self esteem or self worth.


TEXT: Mal. 4:5?6


1. In his book The Relational Revolution, Bruce Larson tells of a rather unusual experience from a past vacation.

2. Quote from page 131?132 of book.

3. Give a guided tour of Joe Christian’s house on a Sunday morning.

4. We often see people who seem to be such good people and yet their children have all turned out bad. It is unfair to always blame the parents for the problems of the children

Ezekiel 18:20 "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.

5. But it is possible that in some cases, without realizing it, we are living a dual life.

6. The problems that can turn our homes into torture chambers are legion.

a. Time pressures.

b. Money pressures.

c. Failure to COMMUNICATE love (last week’s sermon).

7. Today I would like to focus on the need to instill happiness in our children by giving them a sense of self esteem or self worth.


I. The Importance of this subject has been sadly underestimated.

Matthew 18:11 "For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost.

Proverbs 29:15-17 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. 16 When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases; but the righteous will see their fall. 17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul.

A. Bring them up right LECTURES p. 46

II. We must start building self esteem in our children while they are young.

A. We can communicate security to a baby (Research into role of Father before the baby is born ??Sermon Where Have all the Fathers Gone??)

B. Batsell Barret Baxter’s description of the way the teachers at Hillsboro taught the children about God’s beautiful world for them.


D. If 80% of the personality is formed by the age of 5 it only follows that we must start young if we are to build self?esteem.

III. Some steps to take to build self?esteem in our small children.

(1) A. WE must first realize the importance of our children.

Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is His reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. 5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

1. King David morning over the death of a Son whom he had no time for when he was younger.

(2) B. We must teach them to love themselves (the great command)

(3) C. To teach them to love themselves, we must first love ourselves. This is true because of the differing sources from which we draw our sense of self worth.

1. Adult male’s primary source of self?esteem ?? his job

2. Adult female source ?? her family’s affection and appreciation.

3. Child ?? Parents and peers.

(4) D. We much teach them that true human worth comes from H.Q. not I.Q.

1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

1. The problems of the Ken and Barby society as discussed in Dr. James Dobson’s book HIDE OR SEEK.

2. The three coins of human worth: physical beauty, Athletic prowess, and I.Q.

(5) E. We must teach our children both verbally and non verbally that they are an important creation of God. (Psa. 8)

(6) F. We build self?esteem through Discipline (Col. 3:23?25; Eph. 6:1?2)

Colossians 3:23-25 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. 25 But he who does wrong will be repaid for the wrong which he has done, and there is no partiality.

Ephesians 6:1-2 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise:

1. A Child who is not disciplined knows that his parents love their own pleasure more and comfort more than they love the child (Heb.12:11).

2. A child that is not disciplined will behave in such a manner that he can have no self?respect.

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Dan Jackson

commented on May 9, 2008

This looks like an excellent sermon, but the reader can't benefit from stories that are not told or sources that are not quoted.

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