Summary: When you feel like Jacob - "Help, I married the wrong person." Within every man and woman there lies 2 dimensions - the lovable Rachel side and the difficult Leah side. Successful marriages recognize both sides and learns to embrace both sides.
HELP, I MARRIED THE WRONG SISTER!
Read: Gen 29:15-31
I. HOW COULD JACOB POSSIBLY MARRY THE WRONG SISTER?
A. Raises Lots Of Questions
1. Was it really that dark at night? / Did she have a bag over her head?
2. Was Jacob simply drunk at the wedding?
B. Custom Practiced During Some Jewish Weddings Today
1. The "bedeken" (the "veiling"), Before wedding ceremony, groom goes to room where bride is sitting, and he covers her face with a veil.
2. Her face remains covered during the entire ceremony.
3. Weird commemoration of event that occurred during Jacob's wedding
C. We May Never Know How He Could Possibly Been So Deceived
But … Possible Lessons/Applications From The “Wrong Sister Soap” Opera
1. What goes around comes around – trickster gets tricked
2. Don’t marry anyone with a bag over their head
D. Lesson/Application I’ve Never Heard Preached Before
1. When 2 people get married, do they really know who they’ve married?
a. husbands, ever wake up and ask, “Who have I married?”
b. wives, ever wake up and ask, “Who have I married?”
2. She is your sister / brother in Christ, but at some point everyone cries
“Help, I married the wrong sister!” / “Help, I married wrong brother!”
II. IN SWEETHEART YOU PLEDGE FOREVER TO, THERE IS INEVITABLY THE “RACHEL DIMENSION” AND THE “LEAH DIMENSION”
A. The Two Dimensions
1. Rachel’s name meant “ewe” – lamb - serene, lovable, gentle, peaceable
a. Rachel is described as the “shapely and beautiful sister" (v. 17)
b. embodies attractive, charming & romantic parts of our spouse
2. Leah – described as “weak-eyed sister” (v. 17) - weakened from tears
a. continuous & exhausting struggle to find love
b. her name meant: "one who is weary"
c. represents elements in our spouse that are more complicated, perplexing and wearisome
d. cultures today, her name means “highly exalted, glad-tidings” and even “house of the rising sun”
e. but for Jacob instead of “good news” – she was “bad news”
-instead of “house of rising sun” – house of “cloudy day”
-instead of “highly exalted” – it was “high maintenance”
B. The Drama At Jacob’s Wedding Occurs In Most Every Wedding / Marriage
1. You think that you are marrying Rachel – perfect girl/guy of your dreams
2. But in reality, you are bound to discover that you also married Leah –
a. anything but your dream pick - very imperfect human being
b. possessing layers of unresolved wounds and tension
c. difficult person - brings you tears and anxiety and heartbreak
3. “Help, I Married The Wrong Sister!”
4. Concrete – Amber, “Oh my God, I’ve married a 2 year old”
III. WHAT TO DO BEFORE YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
A. Don’t Get In Any Hurry – Be friends, disclosure, time, fight & argue
** Successful engagement doesn’t always lead to the wedding altar
B. Four (4) Sure-Fire Ways To Marry The Wrong Sister
1. Pick someone you expect to change after you’re married
a. people do change after their married – usually for the worst
b. if you can’t be happy with them now – don’t get married
c. be on the look-out for someone who is trying to change you
2. Pick someone based on chemistry rather than character
a. chemistry ignites the fire
- you’re “in love” / you had a romp in bed / “test-drive”
- but how’s warranty, service after sale, hold it’s value?
- #1 way to marry wrong sister = pre-marital intercourse
- you’ll get what you want, but won’t want what you get
- physical intimacy clouds the mind, judgment
b. character keeps it burning
3. Pick someone who helps you escape your problems & unhappiness
a. if you’re single and unhappy, you’ll be married & unhappy too
b. marriage doesn’t fix problems, if anything exacerbates them
4. Pick someone who’s “triangulated” – love triangles don’t work
a. “for this cause a person shall leave their father & mother”
b. severance, then permanence
c. triangulated with their parents, their work, drugs, ex, deceased
IV. WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE ALREADY MARRIED?
A. Wake Up - from the intoxication
1. Jacob may have been drunk, maybe not
2. But each one of us when we get married, drunk with love
a. drunk with love we’ll fall in love with Rachel
b. be careful w/ strong drink of love – blinds you – surprise Leah!
c. you will also get your Leah
3. When you wake up – surprise – easy to go back to bottle of intoxication
a. live in a land of illusions - pretend Leah isn’t there, but she is
b. at some point must wake up, sober up, and face the illusions
c. otherwise continually fighting over the same stupid stuff
B. Look Up